Transfer Day!!!

We're home from our transfer!! Everything went well and I am laying on the couch catching up on my blogs!

One of the nurses took us to a room where we could both change and she went over all of our instructions. Basically, rest today, continue prenatal vitamins and conitinue Endometrin.

We both changed into our scrubs and they took us back. Dr A came in with a picture of the best two of our embabies. Of course, they are beautiful! Then he asked how many we wanted to transfer. Through this whole process, we planned on transferring two. And we transferred two last time.

I responded with "two" but that wasn't set in stone, and we asked what he would recommend. Since the embryos were high quality and made it to a day 5 transfer, he recommended that we only transfer one. I asked what our "chances" of pregnancy would be with one versus two and he felt that it would be about the same. He showed some concern at the idea of me carrying twins (my size) and the increased risk for complications. Because of my small build, he was concerned about late term complications. And we've had one miscarriage. I understand his concern, these are things I've certainly thought about too. I'm small and I'm sure it could be hard. Hard on me, hard on them.

He made a point to stop and ask Jeff what his thoughts were which really meant alot to me. Jeff replied that he wanted whatever was best for me. As much as we want a baby, we don't want to make an irrational decision against our doctor's recommendations. What is it about IF...? we're forced to make  big decisions in small amounts of time with small pieces of information.

Dr A was great to let us ask questions and took his time to answer them honestly. As of right now, it looks like we still have 3 embabies growing and they will (hopefully) be frozen tomorrow (full blastocyst stage).

So... we took his advice and transferred one perfect little embryo! While he was doing the transfer, Dr. A. was talking and as this little guy showed up on the ultrasound screen he called him Zoom! Who knows where that came from but we all laughed and now we have our babies nickname... meet Zoom!

We're very excited and in love with him already!

Of course, in the back of my head I keep wondering if we made the right decision on transferring one but I feel like we did. With our doctor's advice we made the decision we felt was right for us. Again, big decisions, small amounts of time.

We're praying that Zoom is digging in for the next 9 months and that those remaining embabies keep growing. In a perfect world, it would be nice to have one baby and then do a FET to try for another. We're just taking it one day at a time and enjoying where we are right now.

Thank you for all your thoughts, prayers and well-wishes! It's nice to have so many people cheering us along on this journey.

Change of Plans

We anxiously waited for a phone call this morning to tell us if our transfer was getting bumped to Tuesday for a day 5 transfer or not. No phone call meant we were transferring today and we were to arrive at 9:15. By 7:00 we hadn't heard anything so we got up and started getting ready.

I barely got any sleep last night, I was more nervous about the transfer than I was for the retrieval! I remember waking up around 1:00 this morning and then every hour after that until the alarm went off.

We hit the road with my water bottle in hand so I'd have a partially full bladder when we arrived. However, we were nearing the exit for their office when my phone rang. When it popped up Dr. A's office, I think my heart stopped. Why would they be calling 10 minutes before our appt time unless something was wrong?!

The nurse introduced herself and said that the lab had checked our embabies this morning and they were recommending that we wait for a day 5 transfer!! That's about the point I caught my breath again. I said, "Oh, I thought we were supposed to hear something by 7:00 if we were doing a day 5? We're getting off the interstate now." She apologized and said she would check with the lab about going today. I quickly stopped her and said that we were fine with waiting until Tuesday that she just caught me off guard.

On Sundays there are very few people there and she kept apologizing that she had just finished up an appt and had a chance to call. I assured her that we didn't mind at all and that we would just go get breakfast instead. We asked her how our embabies were doing and they are all still growing!!! Aaahh! I didn't have a pen to write all of it down but I think she said that one was a 6 cell, one was 8, two were 10, two were 12 and two were 14!!!

We hung up talking with her and got back on the interstate. I looked over at Jeff and there were tears in his eyes. I think we were both so afraid that something was wrong and instead we received wonderful news. He seems so much more relaxed now and so excited.

We'll get a call tomorrow to set up our appointment time for Tuesday. We plan to transfer two and hope that we have some that we can freeze as well. We didn't have any to freeze last time, but it will be nice just to have that little peace of mind.

It was so nice to get a phone call like that and it was bringing good news for a change! Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers! Here's to Tuesday!!

Fertilization Report

Just got a call from Dr. A's office! Out of the 12 eggs retrieved, 10 were mature and 8 of them fertilized with ICSI! We're really excited as we're working with more than we had last cycle.

We have a tentative appointment set up for 9:15 on Sunday morning for transfer. The lab will check our embabies on Sunday morning and call us by 7:00 with their recommendation to transfer Sunday or wait to transfer on Tuesday (day 5). Still nervous about this part but I know that they are in good hands while they're away from us.

The nurse that called assured us that if they decided to transfer on day 3 not to think it was a bad thing. The lab will make the call on what they feel is best and if there's any question about them continuing to divide out to blastocyst stage, we'll move forward with Sunday's transfer and not wait for day 5. She said "our job is to transfer at the best time to get you pregnant, whatever day that ends up being."

Thanks for all your well wishes! Keep sending love and prayers to our embabies that they will all be strong and keep dividing as they should!

Now I guess I should get back to work... don't know how productive I'll be today with all of this on my mind!

Home from Retrieval

Hi ladies! Just wanted to post a quick update on today's retrieval.

We had to be at our RE's office at 7:00 this morning, so we got up at 5:00 to be sure we weren't rushed since their office is about 45 minutes away. I think Jeff was a little worried we'd be late as he felt the need to drive pretty fast all the way there! We made it and even arrived about 15 minutes early thanks to my little speedracer hubby!

Our sweet little nurse, H, greeted us this morning and just made us feel really comfortable. I was so happy that she was there with us today, we've really had a connection with her through this process and it was nice that she was able to share today with us. She hugged us as we left this morning and wished us luck.

I can still only remember bits and pieces of the actual procedure... I remember telling them that I wanted to work there!! Not really sure what I could do since I'm not in the medical field at all, but who knows. They probably get a good laugh from some of the things us girls say while under the influence of those drugs! Dr. S did our retrieval and he was very nice and came out and talked to Jeff as soon as the procedure was done so he would know I was ok.

The good news is... they were actually able to retrieve 12 eggs!! We were so excited! They had only been counting 10 but it's probably hard to tell for sure when they're all packed in such a little space. I feel alot better about things knowing that we have almost double the eggs we did on our last cycle (7).

We were in recovery for a little while so I could sleep off some of the anesthesia and then I started feeling a little shaky so they kept us a little while longer. I think we left their office about 10:00 and then stopped to get breakfast at a little cafe near their office. After that we came home and just slept for a few hours.

We'll have our fertilization report tomorrow morning and we'll know how many embabies we have! They are doing ICSI on all 12 and I'm hopeful for a good number!

Thank you for all your well wishes and support! I love having this blog and sharing this experience with new found friends. The e-mail address that is linked to this comes straight to my phone and as you wonderful ladies comment it's like getting little text messages from friends and it just makes my day!

In Honor of ICLW

I've been thinking over the last few weeks and wondering why I never used my real name on my blog and instead set it as "Still Hoping." I keep meaning to go back and change it but never had, until today!

I've also never posted any pictures of hubby and I but I think he's pretty cute so I will share him with you ladies too!

Let me introduce you to us... Jeff and Lora!

This is a vacation pic from fall 2010 in Orlando in front of Landry's Seafood.

This is a pic from last summer at a friends party.

So now you've met us! I've changed my "name" to Lora instead of "Still Hoping" but I'll keep my profile picture the same so you'll remember who I am. :)

For those of you stopping by for the first time, here's a little bit about our journey:

* We have been ttc for 4.5 years

* Got our BFP after IVF #1 on January 3rd, 2011

* Suffered a miscarriage on February 22nd, 2011

* Started IVF #2 in January

* Trigger shot tonight

* Retrieval on Thursday

* Transfer on Sunday or Tuesday (3 day vs 5 day)

Some random facts (because I love random stuff):

* I have one tattoo on my foot that I got a few weeks after our miscarriage and my best friend got one that matches. We're linked forever! (I got it touched up a few weeks ago before we get pregnant from this IVF!)

* I'm a huge Cincinnati Reds fan. My dad used to take me to games and now I take him when I can.

* Hubby is a motorhead and loves classic cars. He has a '52 Chevy in the garage while the cars we actually drive sit out in the weather.

* I started college to head into Physical Therapy but now I'm in Real Estate.

* We live in a small town where I grew up at, Jeff is from this area too. 

* We go to the small church that I grew up in, my family goes there too.

* Until I was in Junior High, my hair was really long, long enough that I could sit on it. As you can see from the pictures I went the opposite direction!

* We love to go camping and boating during the summer.

* We got married when I was 20 and Jeff was 22, young, I know. We are now 28 and 30.

* We are hanging on to hope and each other as we pursue our dream of children!

Thanks for stopping by, looking forward to getting to know more of you better during this week!

Retrieval Scheduled

So apparently I need a little longer stim time and after a quick check this morning, Dr. B. suggested we stim one more day (today) and trigger tomorrow. He said that seven eggs were "ready to go" but he thinks we can get ten if we bump everything by a day. Of course, ten would be better so I agreed to do whatever he thought was best. Our retrieval is set for Thursday morning and we are supposed to arrive at their office by 7 am (and we're about 45 minutes away). The good thing is that we should beat most of the traffic because we'll be so early!

Our u/s today was at their small satellite office and they were kind of slow so we were able to sit and talk with Dr. B as he went over our schedule for the next week or so. They are now recommending (like many of your clinics) a day 5 transfer which I wasn't aware of. He really took his time and answered all the questions I could come up with about the differences in the day 3 and day 5 transfer, some of which I was aware of but it was nice to hear all of this directly from my doctor.

They had to check the schedule with the main office before actually giving me a time for the retrieval, and they called me this afternoon with specific times. When I answered, I heard the voice of my favorite nurse, H, on the other end of the line! I just love her! She went over all of our retrieval instructions, times and specifics to make sure we were clear on everything. Then she surprised me by saying she had notes written on my chart that she would be the nurse handling my retrieval! I was so happy to hear that she would be with me that day, I'm really comfortable with her and especially with Dr. A being gone, it will be so nice to have her there with us on Thursday!

As for the transfer, we're on standby for Sunday morning until the embryologist checks our embabies and gives their recommendation. If they're still growing and dividing they will typically recommend waiting and doing a day 5 (blastocyst) transfer on Tuesday. If they feel that it would be better to proceed with a day 3 transfer, they'll call us to come on down on Sunday morning. Works out nicely that it's on a Sunday and we're both off. I'm excited but a little nervous about this!

That's all the updates for us right now but I wanted to share a funny story with you that Dr. B told us today. We were talking about running into patients down the road and how he remembers people and their stories. He was grocery shopping years ago when a woman ran up to him and excitedly shouted, "Dr. B!! You got me pregnant!!!" He was convinced she shouted it loud enough that half of the store heard it so he quickly greeted her and responded, "Helped! I 'helped' you get pregnant!!" I'm sure that every shopper in that aisle had whiplash as they tried to take in that whole exchange!

So just a little piece of advice if you run into your RE in public... choose your words wisely!

A few more days

Had another u/s and bloodwork Friday morning. Looks like we've got about 5 on each side right now, some still a little small. So, we're stimming a few more days and then another u/s on Monday morning and probably triggering Monday night for a Wednesday retrieval. Which actually works out better so hubby and I will only have to take one day off next week since the transfer will be Saturday.

It also means that our retrieval will in fact land on a very special, yet emotional day for us. I still feel pretty much the same about this as I did when I realized a few weeks ago that this was a possibility. It's as if things have come full circle and this was meant to be.

I am a little sad because I found out that my doctor, Dr. A, is out ALL next week at a conference! So, he won't be there for my retrieval and I doubt he'll be working Saturday for the transfer. I'm kind of disappointed because I really like him and we're comfortable with him. But we've met both of the other doctors, they're both very nice and also very good so I know we're in good hands with either one of them.

I do have some questions... We switched to stims 6 days into this cycle, stimming for 11, trigger on day 17, retrieval on day 19, transfer on day 22... so I'm a little confused on how this all works since the transfer will be pretty late in my cycle. I would be due to start my period a week after transfer. With IVF #1, we transferred several days earlier in the cycle. Has anyone ever transferred late too? Or had some spotting and still been pregnant? Any info on your experiences would be great!

This afternoon I went in again for another massage and it was wonderful. Again, I have no idea that this will increase chances of conception, but it certainly was nice and relaxing which we can all certainly use! That hour went by way too fast!

Hoping that you are all enjoying this weekend. As always, thanks for taking the time to stop by and for sharing your thoughts!

Quick update

Before I update, let me say thanks to all of you for your sweet and encouraging comments on my post yesterday. It helps to realize I'm not crazy (well, maybe a little), and that you guys have experienced this too. I love that we can share experiences and even learn from each other as we all try to find our footing on this bumpy road of IF.

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Had an appt this morning with Dr A (love him!) for bloodwork and u/s to check out the follicles. He said everything looked really good, he counted at least 5 follicles on one side and at least that many on the other side. He bumped up our dosage amounts by one Bra.velle every other day and I go back on Friday morning for another quick check.

He said the absolute earliest our retrieval could be is Monday. I'm thinking it may even be Tuesday or Wednesday, last cycle we stimmed an extra day or two.

My favorite little nurse even found some samples for me just in case we end up stimming for a few more days. I promised her if we didn't end up using them that I'd bring them back in so someone else could benefit from them. She asked how we were doing and how the shots were going. It's amazing the difference one person can make when they take the time for people.

Over the weekend I had the idea to take them some V-Day sweets so I picked up a tray of brownies from a local bakery and took them down there with me today along with a little card from hubby and I. I'm sure their jobs can be very fulfilling but very stressful too so I wanted to take a minute to thank them for all they've done for us. I figure as much as I want/ expect people to be there for me, the least I can do is try to be that to others! Maybe that's another thing IF has taught me, just to be a little more thoughtful.

We'll see how things go on Friday and then we'll have our retrieval and transfer schedule... I'm getting excited!!!

Just When You Think You're OK

Don't get me wrong, I really don't feel too bad today. Still excited about where we are in our journey and excited about this IVF, but sometimes things just catch you off guard.

A girl at church recently had a baby and hadn't been back yet so alot of people hadn't seen her in weeks and had never seen the baby. My mom was kind enough to text me this morning to give me a heads-up she heard they were coming this morning. I thanked her for telling me and we decided to not arrive super early so we wouldn't get caught in all the oohing and aahing over said baby. It's not like I didn't know it was coming, but it's still hard.

I guess I should give you the back story on this too, this girl was once my very best friend.

We've known each other since we were about 7 and grown up together. We had our times growing up when we weren't close but we've always been a part of each others lives. We went to high school together, played basketball and volleyball together, graduated together and were both in each others weddings.

Our lives have taken slightly different paths, she got married two weeks after we graduated while I had just started dating someone (who is now my husband). By the time I got married she already had one little boy. We decided to wait before having kids and by then she had baby #2. We were never really sharing the same life experiences after H.S. but we go to the same church and stayed close.

She is not aware of the details of our struggle with IF but obviously knows of our desire to have children. We had been ttc for nearly a year when she announced she was pregnant with baby #3 (summer '08). I remember being so excited at the time (and so naive) and thinking how much fun it would be for us to be pregnant together. But as we all know, that never happened.

When my little sister announced in March of '10 that she was pregnant she did what a good friend should do - asked me out to dinner to see how I was doing. We talked and cried for several hours as I poured out my heart as to how I felt. How hurtful it was that we had been trying for over 2.5 years and now my little sister was pregnant before me. I remember even telling her that night how sometimes I wished I could pick up her adorable little baby and just pretend that he was mine. Trying to convey to her the hurt that it caused every time someone else so easily got pregnant.

The interesting thing about this dinner was the fact that our relationship was never the same again. Maybe I was too honest with her. I looked at it like she could never figure out how to be friends with my sister and me at the same time. She had her three kids and now my sister was pregnant, of course she'd want to be happy for the little pregnant girl! We talked less and less, we got together less and less.

When we got pregnant after IVF #1 (January '11) I made an attempt to include her. Before we made a big announcement to everyone else, I called her and personally told her the news myself. Of course she was ecstatic and for a few weeks we were "close" again.

Those precious weeks were shortlived as we miscarried shortly after that. The thing that bothered me the most was that 99% of those people who jumped on our happy pregnant bandwagon were no where to be found. Including her. Don't get me wrong, she dropped off a card a few days later but it happened to be when I wasn't home. My mom had talked me into getting out of the house for a few hours so I wasn't there. I called her when I got home and got her voicemail and then I text her as well to say thank you. And that was the end of our conversation.

I had the sneaking suspicion that they were "trying" again too but I didn't think too much of it, I had enough of my own stuff to worry about. I should've paid more attention to that suspicion... One day in June while I was at work, I got an email from her. I can't recall all of it right now but she wanted me to hear it from her that they were pregnant again. Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised but what really bothered me was the fact that a girl who was once my best friend emailed me this news. At work, in the middle of the day and now I have to go on with the rest of my day like nothing's wrong. Not just that, but we live on the same street, exactly six houses apart - I'm a realtor and sold her the house. Why couldn't she have walked down the street and come to my house to tell me face to face, friend to friend?

The ensuing email responses pretty much told her how I felt about that and also alot of other stuff that had happened over the last several years. I was probably a little more blunt than what I should've been in those emails but it's how I felt.

Anyways, that baby arrived on January 25 and I saw him for the first time today. Of course he is beautiful and perfect. It wasn't easy, but I made myself go over and see him after service was over. I had to get it over with and I knew people would be watching to see if we did.

It's just really hard to see a baby that little and put a face with what we're missing. It's hard to see that "friend" who now has two little boys that have both been born since we've been ttc and yet our arms are still empty. It was hard to hear everyone's comments about this little boy, their 4th, while we're still waiting to experience it once.

But I guess there's nothing easy about IF, we all know that. Today was just one of those days it got to me a little more. But today is also a day that makes me happy that I started this blog. That I can share these feelings and emotions with wonderful women who truly understand them. That I can take the time to work through them, write them down and be lucky enough to have the support of other women who have been in similar situations.

So to all of you out there, thank you. For taking the time to be there for someone you've never met and joining hands as we all trek through these uncharted waters together.

And Here Come the Stims

My appointment with Dr A Wednesday morning went well, just a quick u/s to make sure the Lup.ron was effective and that the ovaries were "quiet". He said everything looked really good and had us switch from Lup.ron to stims on Thursday.

He was so sweet when he came in, asked how I was feeling and said it was good to see me again. He's always so comforting to talk to. He said how sorry he was about last time, that it was heart-breaking, and he wanted to be sure it worked this time. As awful as the miscarriage was, I was glad that he didn't ignore the elephant in the room.  It's a part of us and a part of our story.

Last cycle we were just on Bra.velle, this time we're on a combination of that and Men.opur. Higher dosages as well. My hat's off to any of you ladies out there who can give these shots to yourselves. Wow! I can barely sit still while hubby does it, I forgot how bad those suckers burn! I am excited that our RE switched things up a little this cycle, hoping to get more eggs and more mature eggs.

I've got an appoinment Monday morning for another u/s and bloodwork to see how the follicles are growing. My RE has a satellite office that's only about 20 minutes from me but he won't be at that location on Monday, he'll be downtown (about 45 minutes). They probably think I'm crazy because I asked to go downtown Monday just since he's there. But I figure with everything we're doing to make this work, I'm going to see him if I can! Even if it's just to make me more comfortable.

Hubby seems a little stressed this week, they've been swamped at work and he has to work again tomorrow. He'll have about 60 hours in this week. Sure the o/t is nice on the paycheck but it's running him down. As if we don't have enough going on already! Yesterday he was a little short when we were getting our shot ready and I got kind of upset. I know alot of that is just the hormones but it bothered me. He noticed and apologized and said that he was just really sorry that we had to go through all this again and that I had to endure all these shots. Sometimes I still get little glimpses of how MFI is affecting him, I just wish I could make it better. I want to be able to give that to him.

We're hoping and praying that this cycle is the answer. That this is the beginning of realizing our dreams. It just has to be.

Finding a Laugh

As I've mentioned before, hubby has been so great to do all of my injections. He's usually doing something silly and trying to make me laugh while we're preparing for it. Which of course makes it hard to sit still for an injection when your laughing!

The other night I sat down on the edge of the bed to get a good pinch of skin ready while he prepared the shot. I must've been in an awkward position because the more we tried to do the shot the more we laughed. Until hubby busted out with, "why don't I just lay down, I do my best work laying down"! I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes! The more I tried to control it the more we laughed! I tried to get him to do the injection quickly in between laughs until I blurted out "Babe! Just stick it in there"!

We were both laughing hysterically at this point, the conversation just kept getting "dirtier" and more sexual the longer it went on!

It was nice to share a good belly-laugh with each other and have fun during all this IF stuff wherever we can. I had to share it with someone and I knew you girls would find the humor in it when no one else could.

Hope it brings a smile to your faces too!

Sorting Out My Thoughts

After one week on Lup.ron, AF showed up yesterday. I don't know if this is the same for everyone but our instructions were 10 units of Lup.ron for two weeks or until AF showed up, whichever happens first. I called yesterday to report the start of my cycle and thought I would have to go in today or Monday for bloodwork and an ultrasound. The nurse said I could come in any day between Monday and Wednesday as they wouldn't be switching me to stims until Thursday anyway. I thought that was interesting, I think we switched to stims a little earlier with IVF #1.

I'll be sure to ask what the difference is when I go in on Wednesday. I know he said they were trying a little different protocol this time around, maybe this is part of it along with a little change in the stims from last time. IVF #1 we only had seven eggs retrieved, six fertilized but we got pregnant. I'm hoping for more eggs this time. Well, let's be honest... we're just hoping for a bring-home baby this time.

Which brings me to my next thought in this process; I knew that this IVF would overlap the time we were pregnant last year. Which also meant it would be close to the date of our miscarriage. The way I had it figured up, February 22 would fall sometime during our 2ww. But since we're not starting stims until February 9, we may be doing a retrieval or transfer right around February 22. That brings up some mixed emotions for me... sadness for what we lost, excitement for what we have to gain, etc.

Could the worst day of our lives suddenly become one of the best too? I'm not upset about this possibility, just a little confused. Through this whole process I feel like our baby is watching over us; maybe even helping us along this road. Maybe that sounds crazy, but it's the way I feel. That baby will forever be a part of our lives and our story.

Even though part of me is confused about all of this, there's a part of me that finds it interesting, like it was meant to be. I wouldn't necessarily "planned" it this way, I would've liked to done this a little sooner but it just didn't work out that way. I obviously realized and understood that February 22 was going to creep up on us during this cyle, the last of the anniversaries to make it through. I just didn't realize how close this all "could" be.

We've done what we can to honor our baby and to remember "her" (we didn't know what we were having, I just always think it was a girl). On September 8, what should've been our due date, we both took the day off work just to spend it together. We went to our local greenhouse and bought a dwarf weeping cherry tree and planted it in the middle of our flowerbeds at the front of our house. I think of her every day when I see it. We joined a support group in our community which became a HUGE part of our healing process. This group meets monthly and it really just an open forum for everyone to share their story and their child. Through that group we met some amazing families, some of which we've become friends with. In October, we attended this group's "Walk to Remember" which honored the lives among us that were gone too soon. In December, we joined in on the "Memory Tree Lighting" to honor our baby and the countless others represented by the hundreds of people who were there.

I guess what I'm trying to say (or convince myself of), is that we've made as much peace as we can with where we are. I wish I was holding a 5 month old in my arms today instead of writing this post, but I'm not. I wish I was changing a diaper instead of injecting shots every day, but I'm not. Maybe there's a point we all reach (somehow) where we decide that we've done all we can to honor those lives that we lost too soon and realize that we're moving forward. We're not forgetting and moving on, we're remembering and moving forward.

Looking at this now, I'm glad we didn't rush forward with another IVF before that baby's due date. Maybe that's right for some people but I don't think it was the right timing for us. Miss Conception mentioned this in her post on Thursday and as I was commenting on her post, I started thinking about our situation.

So this is where we are. If our retrieval or transfer lands on that day, I think I'll be ok with it. Sure it will hold mixed emotions, but I'll have to think that our baby is looking down on us knowing how much she is loved and also putting in a good word for us with her future sibling(s). Our angel will be with us through the whole thing.

Catching Up

I feel like I'm out of the loop this past week with my blog! I've been trying to read and keep up on everyone's blogs and keep in touch with all of you. The typically cold and snowy winters here in Ohio have been replaced this week with beautiful sunshine and temps hitting the 60's a couple of days this week!! It's been more enticing to be outside! We've been loving it and even fired the grill up a few days ago and enjoyed our little taste of spring.

We are a week into our Lupr.on shots and I'm still feeling good. Today is the first day that I feel a little different/ moody but not too bad (hopefully hubby would agree with that)! The shots have been going well, J has been so great to give them to me every evening. I like to think I could be brave and do it myself, but I'm not so sure! A few days ago, the shot felt a little different and he said it seemed different to him. Within a few minutes it was really red and about 20 minutes later was starting to bruise. By later that night, I had a quarter-sized purple bruise on the right side of my stomach. My bff says its my battle wound! Anybody else had this happen? From what I've read it sounds like we may have hit a blood vessel but nothing to worry about.

At this point we're just waiting on AF to arrive - maybe the one time in our lives that we're looking forward to her showing up! Then it's on to the RE for an ultrasound and bloodwork to make sure we're suppressed and then the switch to Bra.velle and Men.opur.

Oh, I also promised an update on the pre-conception massage... let's just say it was wonderful! I originally scheduled appointments for J and I both but I couldn't talk him into going. So, I called my sister and she went along with me. I didn't really know what to expect but it was way more than an abdominal massage. Basically she did a full body massage and spent about 10 minutes on my stomach. I don't know how they can "prove" that it's specifically beneficial to women who are TTC but it was so wonderful and relaxing that it was worth it.

It was also nice to spend some time just me and my sister catching up. We enjoyed a nice dinner after the massage and really just had a good time together. She is 20 weeks pregnant but is sincerely making an effort to be there for us and keep our feelings in the forefront during her pregnancy. They found out on Monday that they're having another little boy. Is it bad that I was excited since that means maybe we could still have the first girl on my side? :)

So that's where we're at... full speed ahead and hanging on for dear life!